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Ep.21 What’s Kink?

Leora and Ophelia made it clear from the get go: we use gender neutral pronounce because one of them, Ophelia, does not consider themselves neither male nor female.

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Note: this content is intended for listening. This transcript might not be accurate. We advise to listen to the story to get full range of emotional highlights and other story elements. 

OPHELIA: “I never really felt girly or masculine. I went through a lot of different phases: I used to try to wear binders so that you couldn’t see that I have breasts but I just sort of came to the realization that it didn’t feel right when someone called me a boy and it didn’t feel right if someone called me a girl.”

Both of them a part of Kink community which is about unconventional sexual practices involving things like submission, dominance, bondage, ownership, and so on and so forth. So you might say it’s how you love your partner.

OPHELIA: “We go to this coffee, it’s called The Gap, it’s for people that are likeminded in the community. I just noticed her standing over there, she came up and she looked so adorable…”

LEORA: “Stop.”

OPHELIA: “No.”

LEORA: “I have a wide range of sexual proclivities. I had a master. I was someone else’s…”

OPHELIA: “I still think it might be illegal.”

LEORA: “It’s not illegal.”

OPHELIA: “Dude, you’re black.”

LEORA: “Oh my god.”

OPHELIA: “I think it’s illegal.”

LEORA: “We had it in writing. I was literally owned by another human being and I was submissive like…”

OPHELIA: “This isn’t what Lincoln died for…”

LEORA: “He didn’t even, he was only mediocrely into…”

OPHELIA: “I know but you know what, no one cares about that, let me have my joke.”

LEORA: “Oh my god. Whatever.”

OPHELIA: “I was bullied very badly. I’m not a skinny person. I’m chubby, or you could say fat. You can get picked on for that. It’s really bad, too. I got picked on because I was fat, and I was nerdy, and I was pretty gay even when I didn’t know I was gay and it’s very hard to figure out what you are because you just want to be normal.”

LEORA: “She’s my best friend. I do love her very deeply.”

OPHELIA: “We’re awkwardly not dating each other. We do everything that includes dating but we’re not.”

LEORA: “Yeah. “Dating now is literally like hey, what’s up, I’m fucked up, I got this disorder, what you got? Girl, you got OCD? Mmm, I’m into that. That’s what dating is now.”

OPHELIA: “When you actually find neurotypical person.”

LEORA: “It’s weird, it’s like you don’t have anything?”

OPHELIA: “What?! You mean you can go out and do stuff?”

LEORA: I mean when I was eighteen part of why I left my family so soon is because  I was just on this desperate hunt to find someone who loved me for who I actually am, what I actually like. She knows I had really bad panic attacks, and I dissociate and I would literally forget where I am and my name. That I like to get beat by baseball bat, and that’s my sexual thing, and I like blood, and I write poetry and I’m weird. She still loves me to death. She loves me because of those things that a lot of people would deem me a freak. It’s so funny kind of a lot of people will be listening and thinking oh yeah, everyone does that, you’re fucking nineteen it’s normal. For me what happened was…”

OPHELIA: “It shouldn’t be normal.”

LEORA: “It shouldn’t be. That’s the problem.”

OPHELIA: “That’s the problem.”

LEORA: “People would be like oh, you’re just being melodramatic because you can’t…”

OPHELIA: “It’s because you’re a teenager, it’s because you’re angsty. Maybe if teenagers are angsty we need to figure out why they are.”

 

produced by Regina Revazova